Oh, and I'm blind.
Yes, legally.
Yes I can see your hand... three fingers.
Yes, I'm serious, I have the CNIB card and Dr's note to prove it.
No, I don't have a white cane.
Wait, yes I do. But I don't need it or use it. The only reason I have one is because I was a brat at blind camp this one time (ok, more than one time) and they gave me one to shut me up.
I have Stargardt's Disease. Which is a junior form of macular degeneration. What that means is that I don't have any central vision. None at all. Lots of peripheral though. When I look directly at something it disappears, but I can see everything else in my field of vision. Like see that light over there? When I look directly at it, it's gone, but everything else around it I see clearly. It makes reading difficult, I need a larger font. It also gets me in trouble a lot when I am out and about. People will wave at me from across a room, or yell hello to me, and I have absolutely no idea who they are. A lot of people probably think I'm a horrible snob. So if you see me at the mall, or on the street, don't smile and wave. I can't see you. And don't think I am not waving back because I am a snot, I really can't see you. And if I CAN see you, it's probably not well enough to recognize who you are. So if you want to say hi, come a little closer, and make sure I can see you. Maybe even introduce yourself. If you don't I will most likely wave at you anyways, as I most often do, even when the person waving is not waving at me, but the person beside or behind me. Awkwardddddd..... And oh man, have I gotten myself into some situations waving like a fool at someone who I thought was someone else...or even worse, gotten into a car thinking it was my husband's only to see a middle aged (very surprised to see me) man in the driver's seat. Well hello Jeremy, my how you've aged.... oops!
Typically macular degeneration affects seniors whose eyes age and form MD because the cells in their eyes break down, but I was just lucky enough to be born with dysfunctional cells. Yay me!
This is the conversation that I should start every relationship I have with. I sometimes wish that I could, and get it out of the way. It would probably make my life a lot easier. Alas, it is somewhat socially awkward to introduce oneself to someone for the first time like this. I don't like to make people uncomfortable, especially people I'm just meeting.
I don't look blind and I think that makes it hard for some people to take in. I put on a good show, but if you look close you can most likely see it.
There may be some of who who know me, and do not know this about me. But really, when is a good time to tell someone you're blind? When does that ever come up in normal conversation?
"Oh, you're an accountant, that's great. I'm a teacher, oh, and I'm blind...." Nope.
"Hi, I'm so and so's mom, and I'm blind..." Negative.
Sometimes it will come up, if we broach the topic of me not being able to drive. That one's easy. I can't drive, because they don't let blind people drive cars. (SUPER inconvenient, by the way!) Or if I need help reading something, "Would you mind helping me out, and reading this to me? I have a visual impairment, and can't see it."
So like I said, some of you know, some of you may not. Now you do!
Most of the time I can take it with a grain of salt. I have a pretty good sense of humour. Other times it gets a little heavy. I'll share the funny moments with you, if you bear with me through the heavy.
Oh, and let me reintroduce myself.
Hi, I'm Rachel, and I'm blind.
